She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
