I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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