Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize