I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
