I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
