Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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