that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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