her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
