Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're my little dorito
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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