At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
