are you so shy because you have an std?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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