Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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