we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
