i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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