your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
