you have to choose: penises or morals?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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