He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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