His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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