i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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