quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if only i could text you this smell
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
