tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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