do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
