I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
