her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
