Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
