I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
