I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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