OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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