Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize