your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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