No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
