I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize