accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
