I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
