id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
