what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
