Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
