nutella sex= disaster
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
