yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
