are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
