I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
