Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
