absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
