God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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