just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize