i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
