if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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