we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
