I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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