Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
