i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
