In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
