so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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