i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize