I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
